I wrote a tongue in cheek post last night, intending to publish it today, about how I wanted a day without pessimism and arguments for Mother’s Day. Then I read http://liferearranged.com/2014/05/its-a-hard-road-but-at-least-the-scenerys-the-best/ and the tears would not stop, my heart would not calm down and my shame rose to the surface just in time to save me from the publish button.
I don’t want a perfect day of celebrating me for Mother’s Day. I want to spend it being grateful that after fertility struggles and near misses I now have two amazing human beings who look up at me admiringly (or angrily, or accusingly, or crazily) and ask me for assistance, reassurance and love 734 times a day. I want to be jumped on at 6:05 in the morning because they are so eager to give me their hand-made declarations of love they just can’t wait for the requisite “Mom gets to sleep in on Mother’s Day” waiting period. I want to be reminded in hundreds of ways that this road is full of struggles, but full of grace, too.
Jeannett’s struggle’s and triumphs while mothering her amazing children are a beautiful reminder to remember grace. If you have a moment follow the link and read her post. She often unwittingly plays the role of a silent guide in my life by remembering grace in moments so rife with anxiety and grief that she serves as an example I want to follow.