Less than one week from now I will be an outwardly stoic, internally crumbling mass of human existence, waiting from Twinkle to emerge from Surgery. Then comes the days of keeping her spirits soaring in the hospital beds, then the days of solitude at home. Then six months of treatment. Then? Then peace watching our healthy child play or knowing we did every damn thing we could, and will continue to do every damn thing we can to make it so.

Help me, please. My daughter has above average intelligence, extreme mindfulness and a soul that gives me chills. I can usually find ways to keep her happy and fulfilled, but the prospect of weeks without friends or school has me grasping for ideas. What can stimulate her enough to make her time not seem so long and lonely? We have a Leapster and a few games, coloring books and crayons. I am loading my kindle with new beginner chapter books from the library. What else, though?

Deep insight and higher meaning are lacking in this post, and in my life, right now. I could really use some insightful phrases that belong embroidered on a pillow, or perhaps a full night of sleep where I don’t wake up in a panic that I forgot to do something very important.


About TT&NB

Wife, Mother, grant writer, professional do-gooder and friend
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One Response to Solitude

  1. lindadyer573 says:

    I suggest you take a one minute meditation break every time you begin to feel scattered, distraught, or panicky. In fact, you could pause right now and focus on some belly breathing for just sixty seconds. Your body and your mind will say thank you. Then listen for the voice of your inner wisdom that will guide you through this turbulence.
    Also, know my prayers will be with you next week.
    My embroidered pillow to you would say: “Grace and peace be unto you this day and always.”
    Meanwhile, I’ll be thinking of entertaining/stimulating/joyous activities you and Twinkle could share.

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