I had the most beautiful revelation this morning. If I died tomorrow I would be terribly sad that I did not have another moment with my children, but I have a great peace with my life now. In the end I do not believe there is anything I would say I wish I had done differently, or amends I wish I would have made. I feel so very free.

During the time for all ages during our Unitarian Universalist service the children were asked what they thought the word faith means. Our amazing Twinkle volunteered and said, “Faith is when you really know someone very well and you trust them enough to know that they would keep a good promise.” She has a lot of faith in me, and I promise her every day that I will be the kind of person she can look up to and have faith in. That is a promise worth trying to live out every day for the rest of forever, and one that makes the great end not seem so very scary anymore.


About TT&NB

Wife, Mother, grant writer, professional do-gooder and friend
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3 Responses to Revelations

  1. lindadyer573 says:

    Wonderful post. The intention to be someone your children can look up to and have faith in forever is quite possible. I’ve experienced it in this way:

    I received news that my dad had been diagnosed with his third cancer (bladder this time – he’d already been through radiation for a tumor on his larynx and a surgery to remove a cancerous growth next to his nose a few years earlier). Somehow I immediately knew he would not survive this bout. I heard the following question in my head: “What do you still need from him to be okay?” I considered our relationship briefly, but again, immediately knew the answer was “Nothing, really.” Everything I needed from him had already been put in place. I had been taught, affirmed, loved, strengthened, encouraged, blessed and protected by this man, and his parenting of me was by this point a completed opus. It allowed me to relax into the last 18 months of his life. I made the two-hour drive to see him more frequently, to soak up as much of his wonderful dad-ness as possible. Those encounters were magical, in part (I believe) because I didn’t come into them needy – the visits were for the express purpose of giving and receiving love. They were so rich. When he finally crossed over into death, I didn’t sorrow overmuch. He is still with me powerfully, and I lean on his comfort, wisdom and guidance often.

  2. Maggie says:

    what an awesome revelation šŸ™‚

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