For seven years I have felt like there was an old analog tv on to a snowy, noisy channel lodged between my skull and brain just above he nape of my neck. It was a constant companion, drowned out by happy noises but exacerbated by others, like loud clapping. I have suffered from petite mal seizures and visual migraines for seven years. Due to sudden negative changes in my health I went to the doctor this week and started a new anti-seizure medication that can also be prescribed for migraines. This morning, six days into the new medication, I woke up to complete silence for the first time I can remember.
I keep shaking my head from side to side, testing this new reality. In truth, this buzzing annoyance had been happening for so long I just assumed it was normal. I took a long bath this morning and put my head under water. Instead of feeling screw drivers in the back of my neck I just heard my children’s voices transformed into Charlie Brown’s teacher. I am amazed at how comforting internal silence can be, especially when it is so very new and different.