Every Wednesday I repost something from a former blog and reflect on the changes in life that occured since the original posting. I’ve previously written on meeting my husband, returning to work after maternity leave and depression. Today I picked a happy post about my first ever mom friend, I”l call her Milrose. She is still on speed dial as the mom I call when I need to feel loved and normal and appreciated, even when I am acting crazy and needy.
This was originally posted in September 2009. I was flailing through a scary medical problem that lead me to prematurely stop nursing my youngest when he was only 9 months old. Meeting Milrose when I did was the answer to a prayer I didn’t know I was making, she was the person who could laugh at motherhood with me until I realized that not nursing didn’t mean I was being a bad mom to my baby.
More pieces of the puzzle are falling into place with my health. One more (invasive, scary) test left to rule out one more thing then i can finally get treatment. The solution is known and the next steps are known- I am finally at the end of the diagnostic road.
None of the treatments for either of the possible ailments can start until I stop nursing. I can nurse until I get in for this test (about 4 weeks is the average wait time). After that its time to switch to formula. My relief in finally knowing there is a cure and I can get better, and even that some stuff I have always thought were just quirks of my body will go away when i am properly treated is tempered by the fact i will have to stop nursing Ninja. I am so heart broken.
My neurologist, seeing me at a catholic hospital no less, said that not only does he not recommend getting pregnant again, but he would advise immediate termination if I do find myself pregnant in order to prevent further long-term damage. Having a doctor advocate abortion at a catholic run hospital finally made the severity of what I have been living with sink in and register.
I still cant drive until I get treatment. This could take 4-6 weeks to get started. I cant see friends, get out of the house, or have any semblance of a life without a car now that we live in the burbs. It is getting quite hard on me.
BUT I think I made a friend yesterday! I met a mom when I took the kids to the park and we talked for over an hour. We are going to have a double family date on Sunday at the forest preserve. They live in our apartment complex, are good parents, like good music and have the same financial status as us. It would be really nice to have another mom friend (her daughter is 20 days older than Analise) to hang with that lives close by. And having an ‘in case of emergency’ person in the apartment complex in case I have another seizure, heart palpitations, etc, would be really good for peace of mind.
Milrose and I have been through the ringer together. She dropped everything to help us pack for Michigan, I helped her see her way to the end of a negative marriage. Through the most fortunate of circumstances we are again living within 45 minutes drive from each other- just knowing she is that close makes life better. It took two years to find my first mom friend, but four years into our friendship and I am still so glad we clicked.