While I asked both children this question, their answers were such a great look into their ages and personalities I decided to post them seperately.
A firefighter… wait no! I want to be a Daddy. I want 21 kids.
Ninja Boy is Momma’s little man- his little world feels less complete when we aren’t together. Bringing him into this world was a terrifying ordeal. I fainted and fell on my stomach 18 weeks into my pregnancy, creating a placental abruption. An abruption occurs when the placenta is torn from the uterine wall, causing bleeding. Some abruptions resolve, mine did not until my 33rd week of pregnancy. I continued to bleed through-out my pregnancy and the chances of Ninja and I both making it through without complications was minimal, somewhere around 30%. When I went into labor at 34 weeks the hospital was ready for us, a neonatologist in my operating room ready to sweep Ninja away.
We had been down the early baby road with Twinkle, but this time the added issues of an active bleed in my uterus, an earlier delivery date for the baby and a 3-month run of IV’s, fainting and near deliveries made me ever more cautious not to fall in love with the baby in my belly until we actually met. The moment he cried and I heard his Apgar score I knew everything was going to be ok. I spent many hours in recovery, my bleeding above normal levels. My husband stayed with the baby and marveled at how perfectly formed and healthy he was. Our attachment to him was instantaneous- I loved him more than I loved being alive, which is how we both made it through.
Not-Kirk is a stay at home Dad. Although a series of trying events occurred to lead him into that role, by the time Ninja joined our family Not-Kirk was a Pinterest worthy stay at home parent, with nearly two years of experience and enough adventure/craft/awesome points to win myriad parenting awards. My relationship with Ninja is so strong, however, that it can overshadow his relationship with his daddy. I am the parent that whispers to my husband for him to use his Big Dad Voice, not able to shed my role as nurturer. I am the one that kisses bloody knees, he is the parent that the kids trust 100% to protect them from all things that can hurt them. My husband’s Big Dad Voice makes me swoon, it is so hot that a switch in posture and a tone, not really a volume, can change the tide of a day and pull the kids together.
Putting all that together, my overly sentimental attachment to my son that almost wasn’t born, Not-Kirk’s bad cop routine to my kiss and hug position, and the bond of mother and son written into our biology, hearing Ninja’s words about what he wanted to be when he grew up struck a chord. He wants to be a Daddy. He wants to have tens of kids and give them the love and life that he sees as the product of having a good dad. He is only 4 years and 1 month old; he probably has no idea what it means to be a good dad or a bad dad. But he knows that the ultimate job for him is being a good daddy to his kids. That speaks volumes about how awesome my husband is at being the kind of dad everyone wishes they had when they grew up.
One of the reasons I wavered on having children was my own father. He is amazing. For his 65th birthday we had a celebration of his life to match his life, with over one hundred people coming to celebrate with him. I gave a toast in which I listed off all the parts of growing up that I am so grateful for now, but never saw the sacrifice in when I was a child. My father changed his work schedule, leaving the house by 4am to ensure he was home every day when we got home from school. Even though he traveled from work he never missed any of our sports or dance events. I was a terrible athlete, the kind that is painful to watch because you just feel so sorry for them. My dad watched my attempts at basketball, wrestling and volley ball without even once letting on that there was something better he could be doing. To him, there was nothing better. He coached my T-ball and softball leagues, built the sets for my dance recitals and drove me everywhere for competitions. When I was old enough to start thinking about starting a family of my own I knew finding a man to be that kind of father to our children was paramount to my ever choosing to have children.
Hearing Ninja very happily tell me that he wants to be a dad when he grows up shows me I did it- I found a man who could create a childhood of whimsy and happiness while still commanding authority with a small change of his voice. A few weeks ago I overhead Ninja telling his dad that he would like to be a grandpa when he grows up, too, just like Grandpa G. The fact that my precious son wants his life to lead to parenthood and grandparenthood above all else gives me such joy- the three most important men in my life all work to emulate each other, showing their love through being the kind of person anyone would be proud to call on as family.